What is the Holy Spirit saying to me?

So, I think, that the Holy Spirit is always moving forward.  Always pushing for some kind of change.  Now, that change can take years, because, really, the Creator of Time sees Time as, well, nothing.  God doesn't measure time in human terms.  After years of me complaining about God's perfect timing, I've learned at least this much.

Yet, still the Holy Spirit is always moving forward, pushing for spiritual growth, making us more Christ like, and taking us, if we go with the growth, the more challenges.

And changes.

And I don't like change.  Almost four years ago when my husband lost his job, it was such a change that I went into a spiral of anger and depression.  That lasted a couple of months.  Then, the Holy Spirit pushed me out of it.  But on the anniversary of that job loss and that change I so despised, when it seemed this new life of hand-to mouth, and never knowing if we could make the basic necessities was going to be a way of life, I went into another dissatisfied, disappointed  disillusioned depression, this one lasted half a year.

But, nothing can separate me from the love of my Saviour.

We are still in this same rutt.  But, twice, I've been given words that good change is coming. ( Now, there are some heart issues here, that I could take into account.  And I need to get my heart, my thoughts, my purpose, aligned with what the Holy Spirit is saying.)

So I am fasting.  Two weeks so far on a restricted diet.  Giving up the things I love.

And I will have to go deeper. Starting Monday, I am giving the Lord my Coffee.  I have to get ahold of His heart. There is a divine principle in fasting that I am counting on.

God is changing me.  I pray everyday God is changing me.  Helping me have a right perspective   A right heart.  A satisfied soul.    Filling me up with love straight from the source.

What else is the Holy Spirit saying?

"Go in and possess the land.  Be bold, and very courageous."

There are giants in the land.  Big, hairy, ugly, smelly, dangerous giants.  They think the land is theirs.  They think they have a right to do their big, hairy, ugly, smelly business wherever they want.  But my charge is simple, go into the land and possess it.  God will not give me the future if I'm hiding in my little hole, doing my little thing, trying to wait out hardship in the vain hope that it will just go away.  I'm commanded to go forward, to make the first move, GO into the Land, and Possess it.  I am commanded to be VERY courageous   Don't look at the obstacles.  Don't count them as anything.

And guess what?  I don't even get to carry a real sword to chop up the giants with.  To make them smaller, easier to deal with on my terms.  Nope.  All I got is what the Lord plants within me.  Joy.  Faith. Peace. Love.  All those fruits.

I had a vision once...not where I was transported out of my body, but just a sudden dawning in my heart:

God gives us Living Water.  He is Living Water.  And it is ours after we call him Lord, after we acknowledge the gift of  His sacrifice, and power of his Resurrection.  The water flows like a trickle first.  Enough for growth.  Enough for faith.  Enough for the unchallenged existence   But if I want the power wash, if I want the full force of the Holy Spirit in my life, giving me revelations about my self and others, equipping me, making me effective, then I got to get the power behind the water.

I have to fast.  I have to pray.  I have to do what the New Testament tells Christians to do, and abide in the Vine.